Step one, which lasts for ten days, involves among other things eating a vegetarian diet. You will note that we are starting on day 3. I refrained from posting anything on days 1 and 2 because I needed to double check and confirm that blind, bitter rage against all things good and just in the world was a normal response. Turns out no, no it's not, but I managed to not murder anything for 48 hours regardless.
Even though I definitely want to punch a cow to death and eat it right now.
But that's tangential.
Anyways. Energy drinks. Because caffeine and sugar. Yes I've heard of coffee dammit. Shut up, random conversational straw man, no one likes you. Lactose and I don't get along, so I'd have to drink coffee black, and that basically tastes like the devil's own bong-water, so I started to drink goddamn Red Bull. Which it turns out is addiction in a can. It's alarming how your brain can justify having "one more" every day...you either know what I'm talking about here, or you shouldn't be talking to me, mister straw man. Go to the next paragraph.
My other issue is training related. I have a pretty easy time putting on muscle (weight starting crossfit: 190lbs. Weight today: 240lbs) but I never seem to burn any body fat. My BF% hovers at 24%...indefinitely. I'd like to get that south of 15%. I've tried cranking up the cardio, increasing my workouts, reprogramming, etc, but nothing really dents it. Diet and sleep (another issue) are the culprits.
Other than the demon bovine, my diet has been pretty well balanced for a while, to the point that I was seeing *small,* slow progress, but god forbid I fall off the wagon for a day, it all falls apart. So this is when I started seeing Meredith.
...I'm being very roundabout today. I will punch you in the mouth, straw man.
Anyhow. It was decided that a metabolic reset, of sorts, was in order. Through a controlled no-junk detox phase and a gradual reintroduction of other foods (healthy ones), we are trying to build up a solid foundation for me to work with going forward. And I'm taking a bunch of vitamins and stuff too; I'm trusting the experts on that one.
So, how's it going? Well, so far, I HAVE noted a distinct lack of cravings for the energy junk. So that's a solid plus. I did have a bitch of a headache for the first two days, but it didn't bother me today. I was told to expect that...hooray?
As a nice bonus, I do feel a little bit trimmer every day when I wake up. It certainly isn't for lack of eating--I think I took a sizable percentage out of the produce aisle as I kept going back all weekend to grab more food. Had to really adjust my approach from "cooking veggies as a side dish" to "I am living off this shit."
I'd be interested to get my BF% checked at the end of this. There's 18 days left (7 until I can reintroduce sweet, delicious dead animals). I'll update the blog periodically throughout this process.
In keeping with trying to get my sleeping patterns back on track, this actually feels rather late to me tonight. So...something something, witty signoff.
Update: See part 2 and part 3